Match.com

I decided the other night to take a moment and see specifically what was going on on the internet. I've never actively tried dating, ever. Partially because I was always too busy and partially because frankly, I just don't like people all that much. I swear, I've been a misanthrope since I discovered that I was the only person I really truly liked.

So I type the barest of information in and good looking at profiles. And I keep finding people that are barely attractive and then some cute ones. Granted, I'm not looking at 21 year old babies anymore so I expect some of these girls to look like they've been stepped on by the Grape Ape (and trust me, the fug ones are out there.)

I stumble upon a friend's profile, which is actually quite good (I have threatened to date or hate-fuck her for years but she doesn't seem to have it within her mental construct to give in to the party host, probably due to the fact that we actually like each other -- how pathetic is that?) I shot her an email telling her I liked her profile and she looked good and she was not only embarrassed but seemed to be embarrassed due to the fact that she was even on there.

I let that one go and then I kept looking and saw this one girl who had ginormous BJ lips and so I checked out her profile. Despite the comment that every stupid woman makes i.e. "I Love to Laugh" this woman wrote one of the most asinine things I'd read in a while.

"I watch intellectual shows like Californication."

Say WHAT?

Where's my microplane zester, I need to do some damage to myself right now and I want it to hurt so bad I can get the thought out of my mind that the gene pool is so depleted that there are people out there who would categorize Californication as intellectual. And no, Devil's Advocate, it wasn't sarcasm. You can't judge sarcasm online. There was no ;) or :) or any of the other emoticons that retarded ass monkeys put up when they decide they want to be funny.

It makes me sad. These are people who walk through life deluded about what life is really all about. Granted, I know my guilty pleasures can be pretty stupid (Jersey Shore?) but I know they're not that bright. Californication is not intellectual. Online dating is not embarrassing. And perhaps dating in general is not for me.

It's just something I've never done or tried. And I may actually be bored enough to try it soon enough.

It could be amazing in terms of fodder for this blog. And possibly find me someone to share in my misery with.