Kickball? No thanks

I have a story to share…about life being too fucking short and how sometimes,
you spend money and learn a lesson, instead of getting your moneys worth.

I signed up for kickball because I thought it might be fun. $70 for the season, might be nice to meet new people, right? So I get these poorly organized emails about shit..not understanding whats up. I try to go on the website to understand it but it's nothing but crazy charts about games and shit -- NO REAL organization.

I finally get a real email and find out that there was some rules clinic. I was like "OK, I'll move my plans and go to this fucking rules clinic...." and then I get an email. "How'd you like to go to the Dodgers game? Second row behind home plate?"

My manties became soaking wet and instead of learning kickball rules, I ate prime rib and shrimp and all-you-could-eat everything. It was pretty bitching. After all, I didn't sign up for kickball to care about rules. It's fucking kickball

So whatever, I missed the rules clinic and decided I'd go to the first practice. Why not? Lets see if I'm any good still. Well, within five minutes, I totally ate it and fucked up my knee, badly. Bleeding and stripped of all skin badly. No bueno.

I didn't kick well but I did have two key plays; at one point, this girl was running to first base where I was and I reached to catch the ball and she ran RIGHT into me. I did not at all feel the hit but she was barely gasping for air -- I guess I am still a tough SOB made of steel.

After she caught her breath, the next player kicked a pop up directly to me, at which time, I realized the ginge that had ran into me was off-base, and I tossed the ball at her softly to get an un-assisted double-play. Thats right fuckasses, I rule.

I started realizing that the people were were playing with, in a meaningless scrimmage, were getting hostile about the rules. One of these guys was an Indian kid who kept yelling over me as I was trying to coach third base. Dude, I was just trying...making an attempt. And here's this asshole yelling over me to other baserunners. I didn't realize that kickball was going to be something that losers with no lives played. I thought even practicing might be fun?

But much like at every bar in America, somebody needs to pretend to be a big man by puffing themselves up like they're important.

I was talking to one of the players on the way out who wanted to make it clear to me that there are other people on other teams who are bullies and get very aggressive and sometimes that aggression spills off-field.

Um, what? Motherfuckers, this is KICKBALL. This is a schoolyard sport, this isn't something you should want to kill a bitch over.

It's like they have no control over their lives and decided that kickball was where they were going to take out their aggression.

I got sick a couple days later (as I previously wrote, colds suck.) As I was going to take care of my knee, I started getting emails. From the kickball league. From other players. About stupid shit like manditory (?) refereeing of games and drinking after the game and who is bringing equipment and what the rules are and everyone was replying-all to all of the emails and I'm like, this sucks.

I made an email folder about kickball and set a filter to move every kickball email into the kickball folder.

I already am pretty pissed off. And I was getting better and going to go for a game and it was a Wednesday night and I was having a bad day and started thinking to myself "why am I fucking dealing with this shit?" so I called my sister and was like “Tell me I’m not insane…I’m getting ass-raped with emails about rules, the other players are hyperaggressive douches AND I might get in fights over kickball?”

I spent $70
And within 5 minutes, got hurt
Within an hour, felt mistreated during a scrimmage
Within two hours, was told people were really aggressive and might get in fights over play.

IS IT WORTH $70 to never have to fucking do this again?

I felt 100% better once I made the decision to quit.

I haven’t looked back.

Relief from stress is worth $70. I promise you that.

Even if its the stress of getting away from something you thought you would enjoy.

Your little nugget to chew on today.