It's a boy

pardon me as i'm sotally tober, just exhausted.

I went from hosting a table at a party to a red-eye back home where i was picked up by my pregnant yet slimmer sister, who took me in the rental car to get our mother and then immediately to an ultrasound so we could find out if my sister is having a boy or a girl.

the ultrasound is a long boring process but it was amazing to see the baby kick, its ten fingers, ten toes, and...then it was hard to see anything else. I was tired, i was pissed. I just really wanted to know.

My sister went into the bathroom and rested, hoping the kiddo would move but something inside me akin to a possessed animal took over.

"I am your uncle and you will worship me and do as I tell you and I need to see what you are so I will give you the biggest brio train set i can find if you show me."

I grabbed my crackberry and then posted that the ultrasound results were inconclusive and I was not going to know right now.

Ahem. If there's one thing I know about the way the world works, is if you say something wont happen, it'll do the opposite. I knew that in posting what i was posting, the world would turn it on me. That happens with the force of intentionality.

skip ahead a few minutes...i emailed my friends who were excited, sister sits down and we go through the motions again. Well.....the woman dragged the funky instrument and then pointed out a very definitive image of what looked like a lil baby's johnson.

Ahem. Not only did my promise of gifts inspire the kiddo but my murphy's law REVERSAL worked as well. Going to be a boy, I'm so freaking excited and cannot wait to meet him. Despite the tiredness, today was a great day.

ok, the good part's done. Another good yet tedious thing: spent $40 extra on my jetblue flight to get extra legroom. Wow, worth it. Totally worth it. Took my medicinal cocktail and passed the hell out. Was glorious to wake up and almost be landing.

other good part -- there was a girl at the bank here who was sweet on me and i was going to take out to dinner but she kept playing dumb stupid girl games by not responding to my emails and at one point (pardon the repeat) talking to my mother about my schedule while I was in town. The way to my penis is not through my mother. Long story short, I wanted her to go away. But today came and I was going to see her for dinner and I called her and told her (second or third time) to text me her cell. So we could go get dinner. i was all set to do this. I called her to say "take my number." Welllllll....guess who never got a call?

Probably chickened out or wrote the wrong number down but after all the shenanigans, this was so expected. Another weak-assed, pathetic massachusetts dumbshit girl that I don't have to deal with and kick aside. I am very grateful for that.

Otherwise i'm stuffed fulla indian and then chinese food. xanax and norco. i need sleep but im still awake. weird