I got this email:

Hi person,
I'm an actress from Toronto who is currently starting the process to move to LA. I came down here originally for a couple of weeks to check things out, but had some unexpected good fortune.

A producer set several meetings up for me with casting directors and one of them wants me to audition to be Jon Lithgow's daughter in a Meg Ryan film.

Due to this and a few other scheduled meetings I have extended my stay until the 25th. While here I'm trying to touch base with as many of my fb friends as I can to make them real friends.

I hope we have a chance to meet, but if that doesn't work for you, that's cool too.

All the best, :) katie

katieblah@gmail.com

My response:

Dear Katie,
I’m an asshole from Boston who is currently floundering in LA. I came here to write great movies but had some unexpected bad fortune when I got a job in the industry.
Due to this and a few other unscheduled things (like friends dying,) I am still working here because I hate myself and want to die. And I hate my friends too so I
don’t even give a shit about my facebook friends.

If you still want to meet, let me know. Wear chaps and a tutu. At the same time.
I’ll pick you up at the 7-11 on Normandie; you know the one. If that doesn’t work for you, that’s cool too.

All the best  person